Friday, August 10, 2012

Deleting ain't easy...

I have decided that emotional healing has a lot to do with mind over matter.

Today at work I had to correct an email address of someone that had switched jobs and my attention was diverted to how many addresses I had in my contact list.  No lie, I probably have 1500 - 2000 email addresses in my work account.  It's out of control.  However, I deal with 2000 people a year (probably more)...anyway, I have a lot of contacts!

I saw a few addresses that have been there since the beginning (May 2001) and they were bad addresses...several people no longer worked for the organization, some people I knew got married and changed emails...blah blah blah.

My mind was minding its own business and was focused on cleaning out my contact list and BOOM...my heart sank and before I knew it my mind had time warped backwards.  It was M's email address at the first place we had youth pastored.  It is so scary how many memories instantly flew to the front of my  mind...our house, the kids we worked with, the days we worked on projects, the life of a young married couple with a hope of a long and lasting marriage.  The memories were just "there" before I knew it.  I'm supposed to be taking every thought captive but, boy, these memories Houdini'd on me.

It seems like a dream.  The further* out I get from divorce and the life that I "knew", well, it's surreal.  How did I get here?

I had to hold my breath and delete his email address.  He hasn't used that one in years, but it was still hard deleting it!  That email address held more memories than just looking at a random email address!  It encompassed a whole time frame...a big chunk of my life that actually was the "good" years.

Anyway, I deleted it. See, my overactive imagination didn't see an email address it saw a mountain of memories stemming off of that address.  I'm so dramatic. 

FUNNY:  I had to look up the difference between further and farther (I struggled with that sentence and the use of the word).  Further is talking about a hypothetical distance and Farther is talking about an actual physical distance.  Your English lesson for the day.

2 comments:

shancrow said...

Love you Lisa!

shancrow said...
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