Friday, June 01, 2012

Sigh of Relief...

I made the decision to part "personal" ways with trivial as it sounds, I feel relief.  It may be permanent or it may be just for a few months, I don't know really.  I will be on FB daily (however) for work...FB is GENIUS for what I do for a living...

There isn't anything wrong...I'm not being stalked...or anything like that.  It just became complicated for me personally to strange as it may sound to you? it makes perfect sense to me...and, sorry, but that is all that matters :-)

So, all my "updates" and pictures and happenings will filter through this blog.  I want a record of my journey.  Maybe it sounds stupid and self satisfying on my part...but writing is important to me and is very therapeutic.  I love stories and reading people's journeys.  I know it was worth sharing my infertility journey because I met SO MANY women that I have truly become best friends with...they are my soul sisters.  I have never actually talked to them in person or even on the phone...but I text and email them like I have known them forever.  Kindred spirits, I guess.  I am so thankful for them...several from Arkansas, one from Michigan, one from the UK, one from PA, and the list goes on.  Wow, I am blessed to have these ladies in my life.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  So, since I graduated from the infertility part of my life maybe my new journey of being a single mom and Christian divorcee can help someone or connect me with someone to help me!  Networking.  Is.  Awesome.

So, back to my relief sighing :-).  Complications are not needed NOR wanted in my life.  For the last several years, OK, since I can remember, I have loved to stay busy, to multi-task and to juggle as many balls as I can get up in the air.  I finally admitted to myself during my fertility journey, marriage and eventually my divorce, I could not do it anymore.  I was spreading myself too thin and my "Lisa" stock was rapidly decreasing in value. 

My normal way of coping with my problems would have been to throw more and more irons in the fire so I wouldn't have time to worry or think about anything else. I'm sure if D hadn't come along, I would have followed that same pattern.  In the darkest, most complicated time of my life...this little miracle brought crystal clear perspective.

I changed the blog's name from "" to  This new journey is about me finding out who God wants me to be by trying to sort out and simplify my life.  As a 36.5 year old divorced, single mom who has a very busy career, I need all the help I can get. 

I have a LOT of simplifying to do....there is baggage from my marriage, baggage from the six years of fertility treatments, baggage of the grief of losing a baby, baggage of personal disappointments, baggage of divorce, baggage from debt, and the list goes on.  Baggage baggage baggage.

My simplification journey begins with taking nothing for granted.  Every moment I am on this earth needs to count.  My D.  I can honestly say that 99% of the time, I can lay my head on my pillow at night and not regret how I spent my time that day with D :-).  I take the time to be in awe with him when he sees a bird in the sky...or laugh and giggle with him when he splashes me in the bathtub...or just taking the time to face snuggle with him EVERY night!  Those are the moments that mean the most to me...I love love love that kid more every day. 

OK, enough of me pouring out my soul for one night - it has taken me about three hours to write this...but man, it feels good to be back and feel like I have a purpose for this blog again.  Sigh.

I'll leave you with this parting video.  D man LOVES Dancing with the Stars...dancing, clapping, singing, etc.  This makes my day EVERY time I watch it...


Anonymous said...

I Love You!!
~Sarah Miller

DamnBusted said...

Will miss being able to click LIKE when I read something you've written now I'll actually have to comment :-)
Proud of you girl... you do what you need to do. I'm currently figuring that out for myself again! LOL I do this a lot.
Love ya!

Kristie Young said...

I love you girl and yes I consider you sister always!! Your such a blessing to me and I'm so thankful that God lead me to your blog a little over 2 years ago. wow can't believe we have been friends that long :-)