Yep! It's 4:30 am and I am up. Not because of my little one (he is snoozing in the other room) but because I am HOT! I'm not used to the temperature in the house being this warm! Geez! I am SOOOO hot and I can't sleep when I'm hot. I now have the hiccups. Random. But, geez.
This week was my first full week back in the office. It really hasn't been that horrible. I leave D in the hands of wonderful people so my mind is totally at ease. Each day I find myself not as neurotic than the day before (however, everything is going smooth and he is healthy and happy).
Life for me right now is a little strange and it has been for sometime. I'm gonna be vague so just get ready. It has nothing to do with D. I have been thrown a couple of curve balls in the last eight to nine months and it's been difficult to handle. One of these days I may blog about it (maybe when I get on the other side of it all) but as for now, I'm going to keep it to myself. A few people know all about it so if you don't know and you are sitting there wondering...don't ask. lol.
With every challenge in life I guess it build character (that's what my dad says anyway). I am building up some MAJOR character right now. I have learned two things and I'm still learning....
1. Perspective. I have to keep everything in perspective. Things are tough and things are difficult right now but I have to keep it in perspective. I have a beautiful little miracle sound a sleep in the other room that counts on me to provide EVERYthing including security and happiness. I have to keep all my other problems at bay and focus on him.
2. Acceptance. I would love (on most days) to crawl under the covers and never come out. I would love to stay in a state of denial and just not think about it or deal with things but I can't. I have to accept it whether I want to or not and make the most of it (while always keeping it in perspective). If I accept it and get that mindset, it helps me start the problem solving aspect of it all and it helps me to not worry about the "why is this happening to me" and focus on how I can get passed it.
That vague enough for you? I'm not ready to share so again, don't ask if you don't know. Just pray for me for guidance, peace and direction. I'm still "in" these situations but I'm also looking ahead and I know God will use these trials for His good and hopefully for me to help others.