Monday, July 26, 2010

One year ago today...

We found out we were pregnant with our first little miracle.  Seems like just yesterday.

I have had a thousand things going through my head right...

  • I remember I got to go in a day early to find out (it was a Sunday)
  • I found out right after 11 am.  I was taking a nap to pass the time.
  • Dr. B called and told me the qHCG number was really good considering I was a day early.
  • I remember being overwhelmed and overjoyed.
  • I got to surprise both mom and the MIL.
  • I remember my bedroom furniture was turned another way...the bed was facing the north wall of our bedroom.
Just a few things that stuck out.  Little did I know that the next 48 hours were going to be my only peaceful ones that entire nine weeks of being pregnant.

The next appointment started the roller coaster for us...and I guess sealed our fate.

I am so very blessed to be pregnant right now.  I KNOW that this pregnancy is going well and that we have a lot to be thankful for; however, I am NOT going to forget our first little miracle and hearing his/her heartbeat for the first time.  I refuse.  I know I don't need to dwell on the negative...the only negative was losing the baby...the negative was NOT the baby itself.  I choose to remember that little one just like I think about Dawson every minute of every day. 

To our first little miracle, we love you and still think about you.  We know we will see you again.  You will always be missed and loved. 

3 comments:

Ariel Elizabeth said...

This was so sweet. It made me tear up. I know that I have no idea what that feels like but my heart still goes out to you two. I hope the very best for you, Matt, and little baby Dawson.

ur sis at heart said...

hey havent seen u or talked to u in along time and this made me cry a little u member when u came to the house and we said that i was going to be aunt andrea i thought about that little guy and how we had heard u heard the heartbeat and i miss every second that u were at my house i miss u and love u say hi to matt and dawson k love u


ur sis at heart

Amanda said...

Hey Lis, just wanted to offer up a bit of encouragement. Or a suggestion, don't know which to call it, both probably. :) Anyway, my sil miscarried a few years ago and was about as far along as you were. Something that really helped in the healing process for her, was to name the baby. They wanted to name him something that could be for a boy or girl, but they felt like the baby was going to be a boy, so they named him Ashton. (Could go either way, but more masculine) She wrote him a letter that talked all about them, how they felt when they found out, how the pregnancy went, their hopes and dreams for him and that one day they will see him again in Heaven. She made it look like a scrapbook page, framed it and has it hung on the wall. She doesn't ever want to forget him and this has helped her to honor his memory and heal along the way. I hope this helps. Maybe it's not something you would want to do, but maybe it is. :) I want to do it for Ellianna but I haven't been able to bring myself to go there yet. I can't even finish a post about her on my blog. One day though.... :) love you.