Sunday, May 09, 2010

Mother's Day

My mind goes to all the Mother's Days I have longed to be a mom.  To all the church services where our pastor asks all the moms to stand and be recognized and they all receive flowers or lotion or some sort of gift...and there I am just sitting with a forced smile all the while forcing back tears.  It happens.  All you moms that get to stand up on Mother's Day...look around at those questionnable older couples that are childless that you always assumed didn't want kids...or at the young couples that have been married already for a number of years with no babies in their arms.  Just look around and be sensitive.  Just look around and be in prayer...because some of those couples are dealing with the loneliest disease ever:  infertility.

This is the first Mother's Day that I can say I have been a mom...twice.  My heart aches for our first baby that we weren't able to carry to term...and my heart is so hopeful for the little one that I am carrying now.  I will never forget my deseperation and despair of begging God for a baby.  I will never forget crying myself to sleep every night after a negative test or negative news.  It is devastating.

On the flipside...I know today is the "marked" day known as Mother's Day, but I think every day is Mother's Day to me now.  I am still in shock and awe that we are going to have our own baby.  I am so humbled and so very thankful...every day.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there.  Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who have become mothers but have never held their babies on this side of heaven.  I also remember every woman who is already a mother in their heart but it isn't considered a mother because they have never conceived...I consider you a mother.  I honor you/us today. 

6 comments:

Elise said...

Thank you for your sweet words. They lightened the sadness of this day for me. Happy Mothers Day to you!

Molly and Kevin Strom said...

You are so sweet....today I was one of those girls who didn't get to stand up...i fought the tears more than you know and just let them go when i got in the car. Thanks for remembering us and being sensitive...infertility is a very lonely place.

Just Jiff said...

Very well said.

Anna Bowman said...

lovely, lovely words..... Happy Mother's Day!

Karen said...

Very well put!! I too was there for 6.5 years and even now that I have a child, Mother's Day will always be bitter sweet for me. I will never forget where I came from and all of those who are still there.

I completely agree . . . if you are a mother in your heart . . then you are a mother!! You can be a mother to many kids (nieces, nephews, etc. . )!

Thanks Lisa!

jennifer said...

I want to thank you for you Mother's Day post. I have young children don't understand the day yet so they are unable to do ,many special things on the day. It usually relies on Daddy's mood whether we actually celebrate it. Unfortunately, Daddy was in a bad mood on May 9. Mommy had tons of house work and typical mom stuff to do that day. It was a busy work day for me. Because of your post, I enjoyed every minute of my kids laundry, fixing them 3 meals, and playing with them all day. All of which done with horrible nausea from my current pregnancy. It was a beautiful day that I would never trade. Your post made me remember where I had come from with infertily treatments and adoption, and I was thankful to where I was now.