My mind goes to all the Mother's Days I have longed to be a mom. To all the church services where our pastor asks all the moms to stand and be recognized and they all receive flowers or lotion or some sort of gift...and there I am just sitting with a forced smile all the while forcing back tears. It happens. All you moms that get to stand up on Mother's Day...look around at those questionnable older couples that are childless that you always assumed didn't want kids...or at the young couples that have been married already for a number of years with no babies in their arms. Just look around and be sensitive. Just look around and be in prayer...because some of those couples are dealing with the loneliest disease ever: infertility.
This is the first Mother's Day that I can say I have been a mom...twice. My heart aches for our first baby that we weren't able to carry to term...and my heart is so hopeful for the little one that I am carrying now. I will never forget my deseperation and despair of begging God for a baby. I will never forget crying myself to sleep every night after a negative test or negative news. It is devastating.
On the flipside...I know today is the "marked" day known as Mother's Day, but I think every day is Mother's Day to me now. I am still in shock and awe that we are going to have our own baby. I am so humbled and so very thankful...every day.
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who have become mothers but have never held their babies on this side of heaven. I also remember every woman who is already a mother in their heart but it isn't considered a mother because they have never conceived...I consider you a mother. I honor you/us today.