I had to fill out my OB paperwork tonight (since it has been over four years since I have seen my regular OB). It broke my heart to have to mark miscarriage and D&C. I should have a three week old baby right now.
I have been very superstitious and I didn't want to fill out my paperwork until the very last minute (thus doing it right now). As soon as I did my paperwork last time, well, I miscarried, and it just sucked. So, I just didn't want to do it.
I am very nervous about tomorrow. I know, I know, I have heard...everything has been perfect and all looks well and you're still throwing up and it is going to be fine and don't worry. Easier said than done. Go through a long journey of infertility and miscarriage and heartache and devastation and then YOU try not to worry. No offense to anyone, but really.
As you can tell my hormones and emotions are running a little rampant. I have had a rough past couple of days just with dealing everything. I have been very transparent throughout this, but to spare A LOT of feelings and not to open cans of worms...well, I am going to pass on blogging about it. It is just hard to be an infertile person. I know I am pregnant now and I am THRILLED and BLESSED but the baggage is still there. Anyway...
Please say a prayer for me tomorrow. I will post results from my appointment as soon as I can. Much love to you all. I appreciate you all for taking the time to read my rantings. It makes me feels so special and loved to hear from you all.