Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sorry, no clever post title...

It's just been one of those weeks.

I know this person will read this but she knows my heart...I found out that another person is pregnant this week. I think every time I see the baby in the ultrasound I get punched and kicked in the stomach over and over again. This one was an almost 9 week ultrasound picture...same "age" as my baby was when we lost him. Punch...*POW*

I would have been 30 weeks on Monday...double punch...low blow...*Ka-pow*

I am still "waiting" for this cyst to go away...don't know if it has or not. However, this is my second round of pills...and my second time to "start" on my pills. Guess my body is rebelling. I am all souped up on hormones and my body just laughs at me when I put a pill in my mouth to try manipulate my system. It is like, "Muahahahaha...you just THINK this will help...I am in control!!!" Whatever.

I had to call the clinic again..."um, the birth control isn't working...so what do I do now?"..."Oh, double up on my pill?" The plan is this...I go back to the doc next Wednesday to see about the cyst. If it is gone then I should stop the pills and on Saturday I will start my shots...and egg retrieval will be the week of Feb 15th. If the cyst is still there...well, we will have to aspirate it and I don't know my protocol after that.

It has been a busy week with work and it is just Wednesday.

Me and a friend of mine discussed starting an IN PERSON support group for Infertile women in the central Arkansas area. Would anyone be interested in doing that? Even if you are "out of town" and would like to drive in once a month to be around other "weird" people... :-) It has been on my heart since May of last year and we have never really put anything on paper or in action. I did talk to Dr. Batres and he said that the clinic would help us promote it, etc. If you are interested in possibly being a part of a FUN, INSPIRATIONAL, SUPPORTIVE group of women where we can all bond, laugh, cry and help each other...email me at lrbrown05@yahoo.com. We can just see what the interest looks like and go from there.

If my next round of IVF doesn't work...I have decided (and I haven't told Matt) that I will be moving into a nursing home. I will not have to worry about pregnancies or seeing ultrasounds, etc.

My humor tonight is dark...sorry. Here are some prayer requests...

1. My friend "A", moved clinics...this will be her sixth round of IVF. PRAY for success. She hopes to start her cycle at the end of February.
2. My friend "M". "M" is a new friend I met. She is in the "testing" phase and had her HSG this week. She supposedly has some strange "results" and she is pretty scared. She doesn't know the results yet...her doc's appt is next week. Pray for peace and GOOD news.
3. My friend "C" finds out in a week if her IUI worked. Please pray that this works so she can rest easy and just BE pregnant!


Here are some praise reports..

1. My friend "N" is almost 15 weeks pregnant. This little baby was conceived all on HER own after one negative IVF cycle and at least THREE negative IUI cycles. :-) YAY!
2. My friend "K" is now almost 12 weeks...maybe 13. This little one was conceived on it's own after a VERY long and painful battle with infertility...several IVFs, several miscarriages.

Let's continue to pray for "N" and "K"...safe and brilliantly beautiful pregnancies...that is what we want.

Anyway...have a great Wednesday night. I am about to go wrestle Matt away from the stinking thermostat...he is THE most cold natured man I have EVER met. I know my hormones are a little off but OH MY GOSH...I am going to have to step outside for a little relief!!!! Geez!

My dad read my post about him and he informed me that I forgot the most common saying he ever said..."I've had worse scratches on my eye ball". Don't know how I forgot that one!!!! Every time we got hurt...even if it was a legitimate hurt...he would say "Ooh, I've had worse scratches on my eye ball" Thanks, dad.

OH, ck_tulsa commented on my post about the poem...she found the author...THANK YOU ck_tulsa!!!

This website says it was written by a man named Russell Kelfer and that it has been published with illustrations, available on Amazon.

http://community.babycenter.com/journal/babyonmind/2988039/show_and_tell_wait_by_russell_kelfer

http://www.amazon.com/Wait-Gods-Encouragement-Uncertain-Times/dp/0974146587/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

2 comments:

Molly and Kevin Strom said...

You know I would be interested in teh group!!!! I was thinking about doing the same thing with some women at my church....we could do this instead. Thanks for your sweet, raw post! I love honesty!

Glass Case of Emotion said...

I just joined as a follower, and I really enjoy your writing style. I am sorry to hear of your pregnancy loss. I lost a baby last June that would have been likely born this week or so, and it's a little bittersweet to think about it. I had really hoped I would be pregnant again by now, but infertility isn't always real good like that. Anyways, I am on to IVF Cycle 2- good luck with your cysts and stuff. It's stinky. Best wishes-
Jess