Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ugh...doubting again?

I drive myself crazy sometimes. Seriously. How is it so easy to forget that God truly knows what He is doing? He KNOWS the plans He has for us and His plans are to prosper us and not to harm us...to give us HOPE and a FUTURE!

I drive myself crazy when I forget that He can handle all of my burdens. Ugh. I finally hand Him my burden of infertility...and I get PEACE...and I tell myself...DON'T FORGET THIS FEELING! It feels like I can overcome the world! And, I finally hand Him our financial burdens...and, believe it or not (shocker), He comes through AGAIN! Self, I say, remember this "high" you feel. Etc and so forth.

I always thought the Israelites were SOOOO stupid while wandering in the desert! They would complain and "grumble" about the food situation...and God would answer their cry and send them bread and quail via the sky...He would literally rain down bread and quail on them. Not only did He do it once...He did it every day...bread in the morning and quail in the evening. Except on the seventh day...He instructed them to gather twice as much on the sixth day so they'd have it on the seventh day. So what did God do? He heard their cry and heard their grumblings and provided food...supernaturally EVERY DAY!

But, of course, after awhile the Israelites forgot that God took care of them...everyday...supernaturally. They started grumbling and complaining again because they had no water...like God would provide them food...supernaturally...and not hear their cry on the water. God instructed Moses to go to a rock and hit it with a stick. Water THEN flowed out of the rock. WHAT? A rock, what? OK, so God supernaturally supplied again.

The book of Exodus talks about all of the above. God supernaturally leads them out of slavery...saves them by the parting the Red Sea...feeds them by raining bread and bird from the sky...fills their thirst by having Moses hit a rock with a stick...they SEE all of these miracles first hand...and yet they STILL doubt when I problem comes up?

Again, I thought they were sooooo stupid...how in the world could they FORGET???? Well, it was like God took Moses' stick (and He takes the stick a lot) and hits me up side the head with it and He says "YOU ARE DOING THE SAME THING!!!!!" He truly doesn't hit me up side the head but you know what I mean. He says to me "I provided supernaturally with your finances one week...the next week you see a huge pile of bills in front of you...and you panic and complain and grumble and FORGET that I just provided last week...why wouldn't I provide this week?" or Matt and I see a door opened that only God can open...it was an impossible problem and barrier...but God opened it easily and right on time. The awe, wonder and humbleness I feel when I see God open an impossible door...well, it is just amazing! But, HOW SOON I FORGET when other troubles come?

I am just like the Israelites from the book of Exodus. I am that stupid little person who has short and long term memory loss who cannot remember God's provision after provision after supernatural provision!!

Lord, today I look back and THANK YOU for Your provision. You provide what I need when I need it. Exodus 16 says that You commanded the Israelites to gather as much manna/quail as they needed. It says in verse 17 that some gathered much and some gathered little...but in verse 18 it says each person gathered what they needed and no one had too much or too little. You provided exactly the amount they needed. Not only did you do that one day...you did that EVERY DAY!!! Father, let my small amount of faith grow today. Let me remember that You are the same God who has provided for me time after time after time. You are the same yesterday, today and forever. Just because a new problem comes and creates such an impossible outlook and a heavy heavy burden...let my eyes look to heaven...because each new day You will rain Your provision on me....daily...Thank you, Jesus, for loving me that much and for continuing to provide for me when I am a stupid human and forget Your provision so easily. I love You.

3 comments:

Amanda said...

ouch....guilty.. :-/ Thanks, I needed a swift kick in the butt. :)

Anonymous said...

This was an awesome post!

Christa said...

I needed that as well! Now which rock do I think will work? Ha Seriously we do all forget too easily what God has provided for us time after time and our "rock" is him! Standing in faith with all of you for another blessed week! Love ya!