I am vegging at the house today. Didn't feel like facing everyone today and trying to be productive.
I feel like I am lost in a big, deep canyon with no way out. I told Matt last night I wanted the baby bed out of the house. I took down ultrasound pictures from our first baby from the refrigerator last night, finally. I am trying so hard not to pitch a fit. While I know fit pitching will change nothing.
So, I am taking a day to process this more. I am so blessed to have such a great friends. I feel so loved and so surrounded in prayer it is ridiculous. I feel guilty because many of you are pulling for us like it was your own journey. I feel guilty for it not working.
However, God knows what He is doing. He sees the big picture and sees what I need. He sees what I specifically need.