Yeah, that is what I thought of today...all day. I felt like I was waiting on someone to MOVE THAT BUS... and I didn't know what was behind the bus. I guess I was expecting a huge mansion/perfect life from Ty...but I got something different. Not that this house/journey of mine is horrible...it is just different than what I expected.
The hand that I have been dealt isn't a bad hand...just one I wasn't expecting.
I am actually laughing a bit now. I think I have totally scared everyone into walking on egg shells around me when sending encouragement. Everyone is so guarded in their statements...it just made me laugh. Thank you all for praying and lifting me and Matt up. It is really a devastating time right now. I have never felt the feeling I am feeling now.
I got the call at 1:38 pm. It was Stephanie (the nurse that helped with my egg retrieval). I could tell it was bad news in her voice. Matt was here with me today (thank goodness). He immediately came in the bedroom and I started shaking my head "no" at him. I tried not to bawl on the phone with her. But, I am sure she gets to make these phone calls every day. She told me to get off all of medications and when I am ready to start again to call.
Well, I asked her what do you do with people who cannot afford IVF again...when IVF has been the only thing that has worked. She said we could do IUI (intrauterine insemination) again and change up the meds. She asked if I would like to just schedule an appointment with Dr. Batres and see what he suggests. We have an appointment December 4. I don't know if we will do IUI again. I think that is more stressful than IVF!!
We have some decisions to make. If Matt and I continue to just try on our own...then my endometriosis will start coming back. We are probably looking at more laparoscopies, etc. If Dr. B puts me on birth control to treat the endometriosis...well, that just defeats the whole purpose of trying on our own!
Matt and I will be weighing our options and trying to figure it all out.
I got me a big Route 44 Diet Coke...I ripped off my Estrogen patches...and took a long hot bath (I haven't been able to take a bath in my amazing Jacuzzi tub since June!!!!).
With God's help and direction, we will figure this out. We will figure out what we need to do.
Again, thank you so much for the support and prayer. I have felt each and every one of you rallying behind me...it has lifted my spirits and helped me through this difficult season.