Saturday, September 05, 2009

I got out of the house today!

LOL. So, small things make me happy, I guess. I got out of the house today for the first time since Wednesday. I am out of sorts on my days.

I just wasn't ready to lose this baby. I guess no one is; however, I would have been ready or at least better prepared if the day we heard the heartbeat for the first time would have confirmed that the pregnancy didn't progress. I would have expected it then, but hearing the heartbeat and letting my hope grow...well, it shattered my heart in a million pieces.

I have wallowed in my pity for the last few days. Crying at the drop of a hat. Matt decided to turn the air up (cause he is cold...sometimes he is such a girl). I, well, was on the warm side. So, I went in the other room to get a nifty little box fan that mom bought us the day we came home from embryo transfer. Our air went out that day and we had to wait on my cousin to get to the house to repair the AC so mom went and bought a box fan and had it pointed at me all day. So, I bring the box fan in the bedroom and I turned it on and started crying...yeah, it hadn't been turned on since embryo transfer.

I haven't felt so great physically. I don't know if it is nerves or emotions that is making my digestive system all out of whack...but, I have had the worst abdominal pains. I am sad because my boobs aren't sore anymore. That was the one constant thing that reminded me that I was pregnant. Now, they are back to normal. Like I said, I was just not ready.

But, I did get out of the house today. I ventured to Chick-fil-a and got me some food. Yay me.

I have a big and busy week this week. So, I will get to get all the "venturing" out of my system this week.

I don't know if I typed this in an earlier post, but as soon as I start my period we will do the second embryo transfer. Because the two embryos are ready for transfer, all I need to do is start...there is no manipulation of ovaries or hoping to get a ton of eggs. We have our last two ready to go. The nurse thinks I will start in the week or so. Our financial package ends Oct. 4th (we have a 3 month package, if you remember) and as long as I start my period before Oct. 4th we are still covered under the "package". However, they made a note and said if by chance I do not start before then, they will still honor the embryo transfer under the package terms.

Happy Saturday. Go Hogs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well I have lost my mind...I thought your bike event was this weekend! Hello? I have to be completely honest with you since you are so honest with all of us here. I never have the right things to say and never have. I have lost a baby yes but I now know how other people felt when they didn't have the right things to say me. I don't believe there are wrong things but I just want to be able to say something to ease your pain even just a tiny bit. I had hoped that I would never have to see someone that I cared about go thru that loss. There will be light at the end of your tunnel and no one knows when the glimmer will appear but I do know this, someday it will. Love ya girl! Praying for you and thinking of you often! Christa