Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hard Day...

For some reason I have had a hard day. I haven't had too many overwhelmingly bad ones...but today was one of them. Everything reminded me of the baby or having a baby.

I woke up and started straightening the house and found the bibs I bought the day we found out we were pregnant. I also found the ultrasound picture that I hid after the first ultrasound that we didn't find a heartbeat. Football has been on, so I was thinking about the "Son" that I didn't give Matt.

I think the thing I was most looking forward to was "showing" and when it would be the time break out the maternity clothes. I got on facebook one too many times and read several statuses about babies, maternity clothes, etc. One status in particular, well, we were expecting around the same time...so I guess, according to that status I would be breaking out the maternity clothes pretty soon. I would have been 13 weeks on Monday the 28th.

Anyway, no need to post comments. Please don't feel bad if you posted "baby" statuses today. It is just a bad day and I am being transparent. Again, you all are blessed and I am so happy for you all. I am just showing folks a glimpse into an infertile couple's life who just lost a MUCH wanted baby.

I am OK...just a hard day. Matt and I have a lot to be thankful for. We are moving forward with our natural baby making cycle (chances are slim, but that would be awesome if it worked) and we still have two little embryos in a very souped up, complicated refrigerator on Kanis Road. So, we are blessed we have another "good" shot.

2 comments:

Erin Mills said...

Those days sneak up on you every once-in-a-while. I still look at people some days with a baby who would be about the same age as mine, and I am heartbroken all over again.

Paige said...

Hey girl this reminded me of a quote that someone sent me.

Never give up hope. This may be your moment for a miracle. - Greg Anderson

Still praying for you guys!