It hasn't been pretty the last 36 hours. I am trying to figure out where I need to be mentally...excited? cautiously optimistic? scared? upset? worried? blessed? The roller coaster of emotions has been insane. I guess I am learning to stay neutral maybe or just under the radar of neutral.
It is like hope is being dangled in my face and I jump off the bridge at it with exhilaration...just to find out the hope is right out of my reach and I fall face first on the concrete. Why jump off again?
I don't know where I need to be mentally. I was so nauseated last night...I dry heaved a lot. I thought HOW CRUEL to still have symptoms if nothing is there?