Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The ugly of it...

It hasn't been pretty the last 36 hours. I am trying to figure out where I need to be mentally...excited? cautiously optimistic? scared? upset? worried? blessed? The roller coaster of emotions has been insane. I guess I am learning to stay neutral maybe or just under the radar of neutral.

It is like hope is being dangled in my face and I jump off the bridge at it with exhilaration...just to find out the hope is right out of my reach and I fall face first on the concrete. Why jump off again?

I don't know where I need to be mentally. I was so nauseated last night...I dry heaved a lot. I thought HOW CRUEL to still have symptoms if nothing is there?

6 comments:

lmashe81 said...

I am praying for you! pray that God give you the peace that you can have through Him. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

On a lighter note. It is so funny because Shawna and I ask each other if the other has checked your blog out. Love you guys!

Mindee said...

You dont know me and I have been following your blog to better uderstand the process of IVF, I have a friend going down the same road and I was looking for guidance on how to help be a better, more compassionate friend through her process.. anyway, I read a comment from a couple days ago and I think that you should read it again, it was talking about holding on to your miracle.
I am holding onto your miracle to! You are the strongest female that I have encountered in a long time, while I wish there was more to say... all I can tell you is to hold on to that miracle!! God gave it you, and right now...its YOURS!!

Crystal said...

Hey girl,

I have heard of slow processing embryo-
It is very possible that he or she just implanted late- and then will process normally from there on out. :-)
I am praying for you and THE BABY! :-) I'm assuming just 1 sac ;-)

*hugs*

Karen said...

Those could be symptoms that God is giving you to comfort you that you are still pregnant. My sister had the same thing happen to her . . no heartbeat, etc. . on first ultrasound BUT she kept having pregnancy symptoms. Next ultrasound . . everything was fine.

I'm not sure of God's plans for you and your baby but for now, you are pregnant . . . hold on to hope!

Sadly, this up and down roller coaster never ends . . even after they are born. We live in a broken world but as Christians we have a heavenly father who loves us very much and wants the best for us.

Love you . . hang in there!

little sis said...

lisa i love u!!

Just Jiff said...

Oh I am so sorry. :( I just read what is going on and I'm PRAYING HARD that everything is okay. You so deserve this to be more than okay! I will keep praying for you and let me know if I can do anything. *HUGS*