Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I don't understand...

The fertility clinic just called and my QHCG is 3093. Dr. Batres said that if my levels were between 2000-3000+ then we could be looking at a slow moving/developing pregnancy; however, he didn't think that was the case. He thinks/thought the baby quit growing at 5 weeks; however, now the 3093 equals where I should be at five weeks. If the baby quit growing a week ago my levels should not be at 3093...

I have to keep up the progesterone shots until next week. They want me to come back in next Tuesday at 10 am and repeat the ultrasound and HCG levels. There is still a slim chance that this could possibly be OK, I guess? I don't know what to think. How can I get my hopes up again? So, we are in a holding pattern until next Tuesday.

Mom is here with me today. Matt had to go to work. She has been so good. Thank you, Sherry, for letting her come up here. I repeated the conversation I had with the clinic and she kept asking, "what does slow progressing mean". I have no idea...none. I called the clinic back and hopefully they can possibly give me a little peace of mind?

My poor eyes are almost swollen shut. I just want to take a big ol' Xanex and sleep for a week...but now I have to go on as "pregnancy" normal (i.e. no caffiene and progesterone shots).

2 comments:

florence said...

Lisa...I know you are confused but I think you have to make a decision to hang onto hope and faith right now...you are in a tough spot. Not suggesting that you have false hope but what can be false about beleiving for a miracle? I've read posts on here from others who tell you that they've had similar situations and have wonderfully made healthy children....I too experienced this....they did ultrasound when it was believed I should be about 7 weeks and saw an empty sac...suggested dnc but I refused because my heart told me I had a life there.....two weeks later and several neg pee and blood tests they did a vaginal ultrasound and not only was he exactly as he should have been, he had made haste and was a bit ahead of schedule! That "miracle" loves you and Matt to pieces--Kyle Rappold is a testimony that it can happen. Maybe that embryo of Malia/Dawson just didn't take hold exactly when Dr batres think should have...anything can happen. remember, no matter how compassionate a doc is, they will mostly talk in terms of science--we also know that the terms of God are bigger!!! Keep in mind that you are having tests and ultrasounds and levels at a time when most women don't even know they are pregnant yet.......who knows what really happens or is normal at this stage. I choose to continue to believe in your miracle---I hope that you do the same. Praise God for the gift of the pregnancy--Lisa, you are a Mom regardless of the long term....small steps, one at a time. He alone can get you through whatever is ahead in this journey. I love you and while part of me is breaking for you, the other part is excited still for what I believe can still happen...lifting up those tired arms of yours girl! Love you

lmashe81 said...

Praying for you!!