I am going to step out on a limb and say that I feel very good about the IVF cycle that I start in 36 hours. I have a good feeling about it. I may be an A. hopeless optimistic idiot or B. a driven-not-settling-for-anything-else idiot or a C. desperate woman just wanting to be a mommy and cannot see this NOT working. Or maybe it is all of the above.
I am ready for Wednesday. Wednesday I should meet with the doctor for an ultrasound and have my lab work done. My "pharmacy" comes in on Wednesday as well. On Saturday, July 4th I become a pin cushion. July 4th...my independence from infertility.
I am cautiously optimistic. My IVF nurse, Debby, told me that I cannot listen to anyone's stories, I cannot read on the internet....I just need to let this cycle play itself out. However, I am a researcher...I even liked statistics in college (yay, Dr. Coleman Patterson!, I think that was his name). One clinic's success rate was 57% for IVF patients to get pregnant...one was 50%...I just feel like flipping a coin. Heads you are pregnant...Tails you are not.
If anyone is interested, I have posted the website for my clinic and second home. It is www.arkansasfertility.com. Also, a video of the clinic is below...there are clips of my doctors in there...pray for them!!!
God already knows how this is going to pan out. And, I know that God only wants the best for me. The best could be babies or not. But, God only wants the best for me. Sometimes what I think is the best...may not be God's best. If you would like prayer points...here are some...
1. Pray for my attitude. Pray that I accept the outcome. I would LOVE for the outcome to be a baby or two. Please don't think I am crazy about possibly wanting two. The thought of me only having one baby scares me too...I have always wanted a full house. And, if this is my only opportunity to be pregnant and have kids...then I will gladly take two.
2. Pray for a smooth time for myself and Matt. As you can imagine, stress in marriage is hard enough...however, throw someone who is unnaturally in menopause and then jack up their hormone levels....woooo not a good combo. Matt needs to have patience with me and I need NOT to use the crazy hormones as an excuse to be hateful and mean. :-)
3. Pray for everything in my life to calm down around me. I really don't need stress right now. I want to enjoy this time too. Unlike other women who sometimes get the surprise element of being pregnant...well, I don't get that. I can honestly say that we will know the exact HOUR that our babies are conceived. I mean seriously. Oh, that prompts a question I need to ask Debby (my nurse). Say we get pregnant this time and freeze the rest of the eggs and decide two years later to thaw them and try for another. Since conception is considered the day the sperm meets the egg...does that make them two years older? hmmmm....